The Champ of Broken Promises
by ducky76
Summary: Hilary tries to move on after the love of her life dies, and breaks his most important promise. I have changed the events of the battle between Tyson and Zeo. [TysonxHilary HilaryxKai] discontinued...
1. Bad Dream

**conversation between Tyson and Hilary. At the end of the fic I will put the whole conversation by itself. (_T_****_yson_ / Hilary)  
**  
_flashbacks_  
  
main storyline

------------------------------------  
  
Summary- Hilary is dreaming about the worst day of her life and wakes up in the middle of the night. The dream is of the battle between Tyson and Zeo. I have changed the events of the battle.

-----------------------------------

The Champ of Broken Promises  
  
**Do people ever really leave when they die?**  
  
_The crowd was in awe after seeing that Zeo was a robot. Tyson was shocked, but he wasn't going to let that get in his way. "So that's the big secret Zeo? you're a robot?"  
  
"Now do you understand?" Zeo asked. "Do you understand why I need your bit beasts?"  
  
"Not really," Tyson replied. "It doesn't make sense Zeo. Did you think that I would care that you were a robot? It doesn't matter man. We can just go back to being friends like before."  
  
Zeo glared at Tyson in deep concentration and shook his head furiously. "You don't get it! I need them! I need the bit beasts! It's the only way I can be real!"  
_  
**_I don't know Hil._**  
  
_"What are you talking about?" Tyson asked.  
  
"The power of the four sacred bit beasts can make me real," Zeo told him as if it was the most common knowledge to mankind. "I'll be a living, breathing person! I need the bit beasts! Or else I'll be a robot forever!" Tyson just gaped at Zeo , who sighed angrily. Why didn't Tyson understand how important this was to him? "Can you imagine how much it hurt to find out what I was Tyson? I was programmed to feel like a real person! I can't stay like this!" He focused on the beybattle. "I HAVE TO WIN!" he cried as Cerberus went on the offensinve.  
  
'What do I do?' Tyson thought. 'Maybe I should let him win.'  
_  
_**I hope that they don't**  
_  
_Zeo noticed Tyson's lack of effort in the battle. "No!" he growled. "I want to win this, but I want a fair fight from you Tyson! Don't just let me win. I want to earn Dragoon, not have him handed to me!"  
  
"Have it your way," Tyson said. His blade started to attack Zeo's.  
  
"You're still holding back!" Zeo yelled. "I want to fight you at your full potential! I want to beat you at your best!"  
  
"No more holding back then," Tyson said. "DRAGOON!"  
  
"Zeo smirked. "That's more like it! CERBERUS!" Both bit beasts appeared from their beyblades. "Now the real battle starts!"  
_  
**Will you ever leave me Tyson?**  
  
_Zeo and Tyson were both weakening as their bit beasts battled. Each blow a bit beast took was felt by it's master, more particularly between Tyson and Dragoon. Tyson was beginning to look very beaten up.  
  
His friends watched in horror from the stands. "He's getting hurt!" Hilary cried as Tyson fell to his knees, no longer able to stand up. "Someone needs to do something! Tell them to stop the battle!"  
  
"Tyson wouldn't stop even if it cost Dragoon," Kai said. "He has something to prove to Zeo and he's not going to give up."  
  
Worried tears were in Hilary's eyes. "But I don't want him to get hurt! Look at him! He's already hurt badly! He's going to get himself killed!"  
  
"If that's what it takes to do what he wants," Kai said, "then he probably will."  
  
Hilary looked at Kai in horror. "And you plan on letting him?!" she shrieked angrily.   
  
Kai shook his head. "You aren't getting it. There is no letting Tyson do anything and there is certainly no stopping him once his mind is made up. Tyson does what he wants and no one has a say in it."  
  
"But.." Hilary looked to Ray for support.  
  
Ray shook his head sadly. "Kai's right," he told her in a glum tone. "That's why Tyson is such a good blader. He's going to do what he feels he has to do."  
  
"And if what he thinks is the wrong thing?" Hilary asked, receiving no answer. "You know it's wrong! I have to stop this!" She stood up. "Mr. Dickenson can end this battle."  
  
Kenny looked up at her. He already had tears of fear and nervousness making streams down his cheeks. "He won't," he told her. "He knows Tyson too well to do that."  
  
Hilary looked at Tyson. "Please don't do this," she whispered.  
_  
**_I'll never leave you. I'm with you forever_**  
  
_Max stared at Tyson in disbelief. What was his best friend trying to do? He was getting beaten badly. "Tyson!" he cried. "You don't have to do this! Forfeit before you get yourself killed!"  
  
Tyson gritted his teeth as he got back to his feet. "No way Maxie! I'm going to win!"  
  
Zeo watched the battle angrily. It was lasting much too long. "Cerberus, end this battle now," he said nonchalantly.  
  
"Go Dragoon!" Tyson yelled. "We can win this!"_  
  
**Do you promise?**  
  
_Hilary raced through the stands to get to the beydish. She had to stop Tyson before it was too late. "You're not going to do this Tyson!" She thought aloud. "You can't get killed!"  
  
She was just at the bottom of the stairway when she stopped to look at the battle. "Cerberus, end this now," she saw Zeo order.  
  
"Go Dragoon!" Tyson cried. "We can win this!"  
  
Hilary's heart fell. She knew this would be the final attack of the battle, the one that would determine who was the winner. "NO TYSON!" Hilary cried as she ran toward him. She was thrown back by the force of an explosion in the beydish. Everyone in the stadium shielded their eyes from the blinding light. It dimmed just in time for Zeo to be seen catcing his beyblade as it was knocked out of the badly damaged dish. Dragoon was still spinning inside the dish. None of that mattered to Hilary. All she needed to know was if Tyson was alright. She looked to his spot beside the dish and saw Max crouched over a body. "Tyson," she whispered as she stared at the scene in a lost daze.  
  
A couple of seconds later the other Bladebreakers, along with the Saint Shields, were by Tyson's side. Hilary snapped out of her daze after a few minutes and ran over. She tried to fet to the body, but Kai stopped her. "Move," she said forcefully. She tried to push him, but he grabbed her hands.  
_  
**_I promise_  
**  
_"He's gone Hil," Kai said sadly.  
  
"No!" Hilary yelled. "He can't be!" She looked past Kai and saw Tyson's lifeless body. "No Tyson! You can't leave me! You promised!"  
  
Hilary tried to run to him, but Kai grabbed her and held her in his arms. "Stop!" Hilary yelled as she pounded on his chest with her fists. "Let me go!" Tears fell down her cheeks. "He's not dead! He promised! H-he- promised.." Her voice trailed off as she stopped pounding on Kai's chest and buried her face in it. "No Tyson. You can't be gone. You promised me! Come back!"  
  
_-------------------  
  
"Come back!" Hilary cried as she shot up in bed with one arm outstretched as if reaching for someone. She'd been having the dream again. She had it every night. All she saw when she closed her eyes was him. Why was she woken from it though? A voice had called her. It had comforted her and told her things would be ok. The voice had been so familiar.  
  
Hilary looked around her dark bedroom for the source of the cvoice and noticed that the curtains of the glass sliding door swayed in a breeze. She knew that she hadn't left that door open. "Tyson?" she asked as she walked to the door. As she suspected it was opened slightly. She pushed it all of the way open and walked out to her balcony to stare at the stars. "Was that you Tyson?" she asked. "I swear that I felt you there. I was just imagining things. You promised that you'd never leave!" Tears slipped down her pale cheeks as they were luminated by the moonlight.  
  
"If you're always with me," Hilary whispered to the stars, "then why do I feel so alone?" Everything reminded her of that terrible day when she'd lost her love and her soul. "You won huh? Well some champ you are," she growled. "You can't even keep your own promises!" 


	2. Lonely Lonely Lonely Lonely Day

I'm back!! Well, here is chapter 2. I made this chapter a song fic. The song is "Lonely Day" by Phantom Planet.

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_--I could tell from the minute I woke up _

_--It's gonna be a lonely lonely lonely lonely day.  
_

_--Rise and shine rub the sleep out of my eyes   
_

_--And try to tell_ _myself I can't go back to bed_

_--It's gonna be a lonely lonely lonely lonely day._

_--Even though the sun is shining down on me_

_--And I should feel about as happy as can be_

_--I just got here and I already want to leave_

_--It's gonna be a lonely lonely lonely lonely day_

Hilary yawned sleepily as she watched Ms. Kincade teaching class. In truth, she wasn't really watching or paying any attention at all to the geometry lesson. She was just tuned out of everything, thinking about the dream that had kept her up all night gazing at the stars. Hilary let out a long sigh.  
  
"And the answer is? Hilary?" Ms. Kincade was standing in front of Hilary. "Do you know the answer to the problem?"  
  
Hilary snapped out of her daze and blinked a couple times. She looked down at her notebook to see no answer written in it. Instead it was filled with pictures of beyblades and bit beasts that she's been subconsciously been drawing. "No. I'm sorry Ms. Kincade."  
  
Ms. Kincade sighed. "Can I speak with you after class?"  
  
Hilary nodded. She knew that it was about her dropping grading. Normally she would have sought out the teacher for help, but she just didn't care anymore. She had let her grades slip. Grades. School. Work. None of it mattered to her. Nothing really mattered since he had died. Hilary sighed when the bell rang and packed her stuff. She remained in her seat and Ms. Kincade sat beside her once everyone had left. "You wanted to talk to me Ms. Kincade?"  
  
"I'm concerned," Ms. Kincade told her. "Hilary, your study habits aren't what they used to be."  
  
Hilary's gaze was not on her teacher but a clous outside of the window. It was an odd shape that looked much like and explosion, and it reminded Hilary of very painful memories. "I'm not the same person that I used to be either," she said.  
  
Ms. Kincade looked at her with pity. "No you're not," she agreed. "I am very worried about you. Do you think it would be possible for me to meet with your parents?"  
  
"Why?" Hilary asked.  
  
Ms. Kincade sighed. "Hilary it's been 2 months since Tyson…" She took a deep breath. "It's not good to be depressed for so long."  
  
"How would you know? Hilary hissed angrily, snapping her head towards Ms. Kincade to glare at her.  
  
"Hilary," Ms. Kincade said calmly. "I just think that your parents should consider getting you professional help. Since it happened you have been slacking in class and-"  
  
"Every class has to have a slacker," Hilary said sarcastically. "I'm just filling in for Tyson since he can't do his own job."  
  
"It's not like you to act like this," Ms. Kincade said.  
  
"Yeah?" Hilary asked. "Well it wasn't like Tyson to go and die was it?! I think everyone is entitled to be a little out of character sometimes without people thinking they need shrinks!" Hilary didn't wait for a response before she ran out, leaving her bag behind. She was blinded by hot tears and didn't notice Kenny waiting for her at the door.

__

_--Everybody knows that something's wrong_

_--But nobody knows what's going on_

_--We all sing the same old song_

_--When you want it all to go away_

_--It's shaping up to be a lonely day_

"Hil wait up!" Kenny called as he raced after her. He finally caught up as she stopped in front of the school entrance. "Hil?"  
  
Hilary wiped her eyes and turned to face him. "Hey Kenny," she said, attempting to sound cheerful.  
  
"Are you alright?" Kenny asked cautiously.  
  
"Yea," Hilary lied. "I'm fine."  
  
Kenny pulled a small package of Kleenex from his bag and handed a tissue to Hilary to blow her nose with. "Thanks Kenny," she said gratefully.  
  
"Don't mention it," Kenny replied. He waited for her to finish. "Ray sent a letter."  
  
"Really?" Hilary asked, pretending to be curious. "How is he doing?"  
  
"He's good," Kenny replied. "He's got Mariah there for him and he has the other White Tigers too. He wanted to know how you were doing."  
  
"Why me?" Hilary asked as if she had no idea. "Why are all of you worrying about me so much?"  
  
"You were in love with Tyson, Hil," Kenny said.  
  
Hilary looked down at her feet. "Yea. So? Why do you all think I'll fall apart? Even Kai and Max keep calling to check on me!"  
  
"They're just worried that you're too depressed," Kenny told her. "Kai especially. He was thinking of coming back here when I told him about that hallucination you had two wee-"  
  
"YOU TOLD HIM?!" Hilary shrieked at Kenny. "How could you? I wasn't hallucinating!"  
  
You saw Tyson beyblading on the bridge," Kenny said. "I'd have to call that hallu-"  
  
"I DID SEE HIM!" Hilary yelled. "I swear it! He was right there training with Dragoon! I SAW IT!" Hilary sunk to the ground against the wall of the school. She hid her face in her hands as tears fell down her cheeks.  
  
Kenny put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Hil, I think being here has too many memories for you right now. Maybe getting away will help."  
  
"What do you mean?" Hilary asked as she lifted her head and looked at him.  
  
"Ray invited us all to come visit him for a few weeks. I just have to send him a letter saying yes or no."  
  
"Kai and Max too?" Hilary asked.  
  
Kenny nodded. "Don't worry," he said. "It's not just because of you. We know that you aren't a head case Hilary. I think Ray is more aiming towards Kai."  
  
"What do you mean? Hilary asked with confusion.  
  
"Kai's always been a loner," Kenny explained. "You know that. Tyson was really the first person to get through to him. Ray's probably just afraid that Kai will just disappear."  
  
"Disappear?" Hilary repeated.  
  
Kenny nodded. "He's quite good at it. When he finishes his business somewhere he just goes on his way and isn't heard from again until he wants to be found. We don't want to be his finished business."  
  
"Ty wouldn't want that," Hilary said looking at some clouds passing by.

"No he wouldn't," Kenny agreed.  
  
"I'll go," Hilary said.  
  
"To Ray's?" Kenny asked,  
  
"Yea," Hilary said. "I could use a get away from everything. And I guess it would be nice to be with all of you together again."  
  
"It'll be like old times," Kenny said.  
  
"Not exactly," Hilary said. "Nothing will be like that. Never again."  
  
"You're wrong," Kenny argued. "We can be normal again."  
  
Hilary looked at Kenny skeptically. "It will never be normal," she said. "Not without Tyson. I don't want it to be."  
  
"What do you mean?" Kenny asked.  
  
Hilary looked back at the clouds. "Because it doesn't matter," she said dully. "Nothing matters without him and nothing will ever be the same. I just have to get used to it." She looked back at Kenny. "The funny thing is that I'm telling you this, yet I am the one living in the past. I keep feeling his presence around me, like he's still here. Last night I could have sworn he was there. That feeling won't go away until I get away from here. That is why I am going to Ray's. Not for old times' sake. To forget it all for a while. To get used to the fact that there is no old times' sake. Kenny I think you should do the same." With that she left Kenny dumbfounded as she walked off to the beach.

_--I could tell from the minute I woke up_

_--It was going to be a lonely lonely lonely lonely day._


	3. Always Something in the Way

I finally came up with another chapter!! Sorry it took so long. Writer's Block is a killer!! The song I used for this chapter is "You" by Switchfoot. If you haven't heard the song before listen to it. It's a great song. It's in "A Walk to Remember" right after Landon goes to ask his father for help with Jamie, so I'm sure you already have heard it. Well on with the chapter..  
  
-----------------------------------------  
  
_--There's always something in the way   
  
--There's always something getting through   
  
--But it's not me   
  
--It's you   
  
--Sometimes ignorance rings true   
  
--But hope is not in what I know   
  
--Not in me   
  
--It's in you_   
  
Hilary was lying on her bed, her head hanging off the edge as she stared at something on the dresser across from her. A picture frame sat there, but it obviously wasn't the frame she was staring at. The picture behind the glass of the frame was one that she'd stared at many times. It was a picture of her hugging Tyson at the beach. In the picture Tyson had on a huge smile. It wasn't the usual goofy one that everyone knew, but a genuine, happy smile. Though she had stared at it so many times, she remembered a time when she hadn't truly appreciated what the picture meant to her, the memory that it had left for her.  
  
_--It's all I know  
  
--It's all I know   
  
--It's all I know   
_  
Hilary sighed. That day at the beach, Hilary and Tyson had been in another fight, as usual, except it had lasted a few days. Most of the times they had fought had been very short-lived, but this particular fight had had yet to be won by either of them, being as neither seemed to be in the mood to give in. Everyone even forgot what the fight had been about, but apparently it had been bad enough for the two to still be angry. Hilary hadn't even gone to his house for those few days, and the other guys begged her to come end the fight. They had claimed that Tyson was getting angry at them because Hilary hadn't been around, though Hilary didn't know why her absence could put Tyson in a bad mood when he'd acted as though he'd hated her all of time she was around. Tyson really had known how to push her buttons. Still, she had to admit that being away from Tyson made her a little moody too. The guys, well not so much Kai, had come up with a plan to get Tyson and Hilary to make up. They'd invited them both to the beach for lunch, saying to them both that the other would not be there. Tyson and Hilary had been pissed off at the others when they saw each other there, and they'd both refused to talk to the other. Tyson, having been the most stubborn of the two, had decided to ignore everyone there and had gone off towards the bridge.  
  
_--I find peace when I'm confused   
  
--I find hope when I'm let down  
  
--Not in me but   
  
--In you   
  
--It's in you _  
  
After a while Hilary had felt really guilty about arguing with him, especially over something she couldn't even remember. She slipped away from the others and walked down towards the bridge to find Tyson. She eventually had found him still on the beach, sitting in the sand staring out at the water. He'd seemed to be mesmerized by the waves and hadn't even noticed her approaching. His face had looked very upset and worried about something, making Hilary feel even worse. She had always hated it when he wasn't smiling. She'd sat down beside him quietly and smiled. "It's pretty," she'd said.  
  
Hilary could still remember the far away look in Tyson's eyes as he'd looked up at her, his face still sad and lonely. That look had made her feel so guilty about hurting him, though she hadn't understood how she had. "I'm sorry," he's whispered to her. She had shaken her head at him and whispered, "Me too," before kissing his cheek. Just as she had flung her arms around his neck to hug him, Max had come up to them with a camera, taking the picture.  
  
_--I hope to lose myself for good   
  
--I hope to find it in the end   
  
--Not in me ... me   
  
--In You   
  
--In You   
  
--In You   
  
--It's all I know   
  
--It's all I know   
  
--It's all I know _  
  
Hilary smiled slightly at the memory and a tear dripped from her eye down to her forehead. "That was a nice day," she said to the boy in the picture.  
  
"Yeah," Tyson responded. "We always have fun at the beach Hil."  
  
Hilary pulled herself right side up on her bed and laid on her side with her head on her hand, propped up on the elbow. She wiped tears from her eyes and smiled gently at the boy sitting on the opposite edge of the bed. "Yeah, we do," she replied happily.  
  
"What's wrong?" Tyson asked, seeing her tears. "Why are you crying?"  
  
Hilary smiled a little bigger. "I really don't know," she said. "I guess I'm being kind of dumb huh?"  
  
Tyson shook his head. "No," he told her. "I just don't like it when you cry. I want you to be happy."  
  
"Well you're here right now," she said. "So I'm happy." She stared at him for a bit with admiration. "Are you going to Ray's too?" she asked him.  
  
"You know I can't Hil," Tyson replied glumly.  
  
Hilary frowned. "Why not?" she asked.  
  
"Because," Tyson said, "I'm not really here."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Hilary asked angrily.  
  
"You know what I'm talking about Hilary," Tyson told her. "I can't go with you, because I'm not real. This isn't real."  
  
"Then how are you here?" Hilary asked as she sat up. "How can you be here with me?"  
  
"I'm not," Tyson replied. "You're just imagining me here. I'm not real. I'm gone."  
  
"No you're not," Hilary argued. "You're right here."  
  
"No," Tyson said. "You just haven't let go of me yet."  
  
"Why would I let you go?" Hilary asked with confusion.  
  
"Because I'm gone already," Tyson said. "You can't keep holding onto something that isn't there. You have to let me go Hil. Move on with your life."  
  
"I don't understand Tyson," Hilary said. "Don't you want to be with me?"  
  
"Of course I do," Tyson said. He moved closer to Hilary and went to press his hand to her cheek, but it went through her. "But I can't," he continued. "I'm just the ghost of a memory Hilary. I'm only here for as long as you keep bringing me here. You need to let me go. I want you to start living life again."  
  
"What if there is no life without you?" Hilary asked desperately.  
  
"There is," Tyson told her as her stood up and walked to the dresser. "There are other people in your life that love you and care for you, and they want you to be happy."  
  
Hilary followed him and stood in front of him. "I'm only happy with you," she whispered. She went to grab his hand, but he vanished and her hand landed on the object she'd been staring at. She picked the picture up and looked at it again. Hot tears fell from her eyes and she   
slammed the picture face-down on the dresser. "I can't move on without you," she said.  
  
_--In You  
  
--In You   
  
--It's in You   
  
--It's in You_

A knock on the door made her jump with shock. She immediately wiped her eyes and sat back down on her bed. "Yeah?" she responded to the knock.  
  
"It's me," Kenny's voice called from the hall.  
  
"Oh," Hilary said. "Come in."  
  
The door opened and Kenny walked into the room with a letter from China. "Ray got our letter," he said. "He told me that we can come as soon as school is over in two weeks."  
  
"Cool," Hilary said half-heartedly. She saw a sad look on Kenny's face. "What's wrong?" she asked.  
  
Kenny sighed. "Kai said that he isn't going to come," he told her.  
  
"Why not?" Hilary asked.  
  
Kenny shrugged. "I don't know," he said. "He didn't say. That's Kai for you. He really likes to be on his own."  
  
Hilary frowned. "Well then what is the point of going to Ray's now?"  
  
"What do you mean?" Kenny asked. "Don't you want to see Ray and Max again?"  
  
"I guess," Hilary said. "But I thought the point was to keep Kai around."  
  
"The point was to see everyone again," Kenny said.  
  
"Well if Kai isn't going, I'm not going," Hilary said stubbornly.  
  
"What?" Kenny asked with shock.  
  
"I said 'I'm not going,'" Hilary replied. "I'm not going to be around just you 3 guys. I know that all you'll do is be way too nice to me like I'm the only one that's been having a hard time. At least with Kai around there would have been one person that didn't offer me sympathy all of the time." She got up and walked to her phone.  
  
"That isn't what we do," Kenny said defensively. "Do you honestly think that we're just here to give you some big pity party? Come on Hilary. Maybe we seem like we're just giving you sympathy, but we're upset too. We just don't want to cope with it by moping around, and we don't you to either. What can we do to make you see that we're not trying to kill you with kindness?"  
  
"Let me mope," Hilary said venomously. She picked up the receiver and started to dial a number. "Now if you don't mind, I have a phone call to make."  
  
Kenny shook his head angrily as he walked out of the room. "Fine," he said. "But you write Ray back to tell him that you aren't coming."  
  
Hilary rolled her eyes as Kenny shut the door behind him. The phone on the other end rang a few times before a man answered. "Hello. Hiwatari residence."  
  
"Hi," Hilary replied. "May I speak with Kai?"  
  
"I'm sorry. Master Kai doesn't really take phone calls from fans."  
  
"I'm not a fan," Hilary said. "I'm a friend of his from Japan. It's Hilary."  
  
"Hilary?" the man, obviously a butler repeated. "Oh well I'm sure that he will wish to speak with you. Just a moment please. I will go call upon him."  
  
"Thank you," Hilary said.   
  
A minute later the other end was picked up again. "Hello?" Kai's voice asked. "Hilary?"  
  
"Yes," Hilary replied. "Hi Kai."  
  
"It's really Hilary?" Kai asked again.  
  
"Why wouldn't it be?" Hilary asked in confusion.  
  
"I don't know. I guess I'm just surprised that you called. From what I've heard you haven't really been in the mood to talk to many people."  
  
"Why wouldn't I want to talk to you?" Hilary asked.  
  
"If you had wanted to talk to me you would have called before now," Kai replied.  
  
"Well I want to talk now," Hilary said.  
  
"Ok," Kai replied. "Is there something you need?"  
  
"Actually," Hilary said. "Yes."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Can I come stay with you in Russia?" she asked.  
  
"When?"  
  
"As soon as possible," Hilary told him. "I'll leave now if you say I can."  
  
_--There's always something in the way   
  
--There's always something getting through   
  
--But it's not me   
  
--It's You   
  
--It's You   
  
--It's You_


	4. It's Not Easy to be Me

Hey everyone!! I finally updated! Sorry it took so long, but I've been having a hard time with writer's block.. It sucks. But I finally came up with the entire main plot for the story, even though I may add in a few unplanned scenes. Thanks for reviewing!! Here's Chapter 4. The song for this chapter is "Superman" by Five for Fighting. I don't know if it's really that great of a song for this chapter, but I had a hard time finding anything appropriate. This chapter is basically about Kai and what his life has been like, so I related that to the song, mainly based on that the song is basically saying "I'm not exactly what you think."  
  
Read and Review!!  
  
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_I can't stand to fly _

_I'm not that naive _

_I'm just out to find _

_The better part of me_   
  
Kai sat down at the small café in the airport drinking his coffee as he waited for word on the arrival of Hilary's plane. It had been a while since he had seen any of the friends he'd made while being a part of the Bladebreakers, and, though he would never admit it, he missed them. Things just hadn't been the same since Tyson had died.  
  
_I'm more than a bird  
  
I'm more than a plane _

_More than some pretty face   
  
Beside a train _

_It's not easy to be me _  
  
Kai sighed as he thought about what his life had been like before. He hadn't had a very good childhood, and had had no friends, which he blamed on his "magnetic" personality that had resulted from his upbringing. It hadn't been his fault. He'd been deprived of the simple indulgences and necessities of most normal children, and he'd been forced to become a warrior. He'd been raised to have a cold exterior, merciless and devoid of emotion. That was why he was the way he was. He'd never been given the chance to have any real life of his own, with a free will to do as he liked.  
  
_Wish that I could cry _

_Fall upon my knees _

_Find a way to lie _

_About a home _

_I'll never see_   
  
People never understood that though. They all just saw him as the bad kid, because no one wanted to believe anything else. No, that would have taken too much effort for someone to actually look at the real him. But the Bladebreakers had taken that effort. Kai never really understood why they had, because of all people he'd probably been the cruelest to them. He'd worked them hard, seldom spoke to them unless it had been truly necessary or an insult, which he'd found necessary anyway, and fought with them, especially Tyson, on numerous occasions. He'd even betrayed them on his grandfather's orders, but they still hadn't given up on him. That day at Lake Baikal they'd proven their loyalty and friendship to him, and they'd broken through the ice that he'd used to block himself off from the rest of the world. Tyson in particular had shown a great strength of character that day. He'd seemed to want Kai back the most of all. Kai had found it very strange, since Tyson had been the person that he'd gotten along with least.  
  
_It may sound absurd  
  
But don't be naive _

_Even Heroes have  
  
The right to bleed _

_I may be disturbed  
  
But won't you concede _

_Even Heroes have  
  
The right to dream _

_It's not easy to be me_   
  
After that Kai had finally gained some kind of feeling towards his teammates. Respect. He finally respected them, because they'd shown the same kind of consideration towards him when he needed it most. He couldn't exactly say that he'd liked them or anything, and maybe he just hadn't been ready to offer his friendship to anyone yet. But the others had understood that. They'd never expected too much of Kai and had been quite content with him being who he was and doing what he needed to do. By accepting this in him, they'd actually given him a chance and a reason to change what his past had done to him.  
  
_Up, up and away_

_Away from me _

_It's all right  
  
You can all sleep sound tonight _

_I'm not crazy  
  
Or anything  
_  
Thus from there during his second year with the World Champion team, his respect for them had grown to admiration, not in any type of sentimental sense, Kai would have reminded people, being the toughened person he still was. But he admired them all in such a way as people he held in high regard. He never would have admitted that to anyone though, and he had still acted as though they'd been a bunch of babbling idiots and a waste of his time. Eventually this admiration had become a fondness for them all. He'd actually begun to enjoy their company, and every now and then he'd returned their kindness to him with a friendly gesture or a helpful word. During this time, he'd even accepted the friendship of some others, one of those others having been Hilary.  
  
_I can't stand to fly _

_I'm not that naive _

_Men weren't meant to ride _

_With clouds between their knees   
  
_ All of those good times had been put to an end though when Tyson had died. Everyone had become sad, and things had seemed to matter much less to them all. With things that way Kai had really seen no reason in staying in Japan any longer and had returned home to his mansion in Russia. Fortunately, with Voltaire in prison, Kai had the mansion to himself, though it did become rather lonely.  
  
Kai smirked at the thought. He never would have been lonely before. "You've grown soft Hiwatari," he told himself just before taking the last sip of his coffee. He was looking forward to seeing Hilary again. Maybe he could somehow gain back some aspect of what life had been with the Bladebreakers. The truth was that he really needed to see one of his friends again.  
  
_I'm only a man  
  
In a silly red sheet _

_Digging for kryptonite  
  
On this one way street _

_Only a man   
  
In a funny red sheet _

_Looking for special things   
  
Inside of me _

Hilary needed to see him too. From the sound of it, things had been pretty rough on her for the past two months. Losing Tyson, the person she'd loved more than life itself, had pushed her into some sort of a depression, and she seemed to think that everyone felt sorry for her. Kai knew he would have to watch himself around her so as not to offend her in such a way, but Kai was good at that kind of thing. He actually understood people and their needs most of time. He figured it must have been something that he'd gained from being an outsider. A person's perspective of something was always much better when seen from the outside of it all than as a part of it.

_Inside of me…   
  
Inside of me ...  
  
Inside of me ...  
  
Inside of me ..._

"Flight 172 from Tokyo is now arriving at Gate 23," a woman said over the intercom. "Flight 172 now at Gate 23." Kai stood up and went to the appropriate arrival gate.   
  
_I'm only a man   
  
In a funny red sheet _

_I'm only a man   
  
Looking for my dream _

_I'm only a man   
  
In a funny red sheet_  
  
He had to wait about 5 minutes, but eventually he saw what he was waiting for. Hilary stepped through the door with a carryon bag in her hand. She looked around the area for Kai. He would have called out for her, but he seemed to have forgotten his voice as he stared at her. Something was different about her, and he just couldn't figure it out. "Kai!" she called as soon as she spotted him.  
  
Kai snapped out of the daze and offered her a small smile as she ran up, dropped her bag, and flung her arms around him in a big hug. "I missed you," she said.  
  
_It's not easy…_  
  
"Yea," Kai said. "Me too."  
  
Hilary pulled away and picked her bag up again. Her face changed from the happy greeting to very serious. "You told no one right?" she asked.  
  
"No one," Kai replied. "But I'm sure they'll all figure out on their own eventually."  
  
Hilary sighed. "Well I'll handle that when it comes," she said. She smiled sadly as she looked at Kai. "You're… different…"  
  
"Really?" Kai asked quietly. "I guess maybe we all are…"  
  
_It's not easy to be me..._  
  
--------------------------------------  
  
Yea… sorry if that last scene was kind of weird, but I'm just trying to show how much they're all changing in this story..  
  
Soon I think I'm going to make a chapter with the other characters in it. I miss writing about Ray.


	5. Dwelling On It

I'm so sorry that it took this long to update! First writer's block and then vacation! I decided to make this chapter longer than the others to make up for the wait, but that means no lyrics to go with it because I couldn't stick to one theme that could fit only one song. So here's the next chapter!!  
  
----------------------------------------  
  
Hilary and Kai stood together in a large guest bedroom of his mansion as they waited for the butler to bring Hilary's bags to it. They'd just gone for the tour of Kai's house, which amazed Hilary. She looked around the room in wonder at its size and tastefully elegant decor. "Wow," she said with an awed voice. "Kai this house is… wow…" She lay down on the bed and stretched out across it, testing its comfort ability. She looked at everything in the room. The furniture had a fancy Victorian look to it. The walls were painted ivory, and the trim was a dull, antique gold. The bed itself was decorated in a beautiful covering that matched the ivory walls. A blanket embroidered with golden designs was folded in half at the end of the bed. "If this is just the guest bedroom, I'm afraid to see the master bedroom," Hilary told Kai.  
  
Kai frowned. "You won't have to worry about that," he said gloomily. "That was my grandfather's room. No one stays in it. In fact I have forbidden anyone, even myself, from entering that entire corridor. Not a soul has stepped foot there since Voltaire died."  
  
"Oh," Hilary said guiltily. "Sorry. I didn't mean to bring that up. I know you don't really like talking about your gran-"  
  
"How about you unpack?" Kai suggested, cutting her. "I'll see to it that you are called down for dinner when it's ready. If you want to… er… freshen up," Kai said awkwardly, trying his best to be friendly to his guest, "there's a bathroom attached to this room." He directed her to the door behind her. "Fresh towels have already been put in there for you."  
  
Hilary looked into the large bathroom. It was decorated to match the bedroom, in gold and ivory. It had a large, old-fashioned ivory bathtub and a separate shower in the corner next to it. Not only was there a sink, but a vanity with its own mirror was set up on the opposite wall. Apparently the Hiwataris really knew how to make their guests comfortable. Hilary turned around to speak to Kai. "Thank you so much," she said as she walked out of the room. "I can't tell you how much this all means to…" She trailed off as she saw that Kai was gone and only the butler stood in the room with her luggage.  
  
The butler set down her bags beside the bed and turned to her. "Is there anything else that I can help you with miss?" he asked.  
  
Hilary's eyes widened a bit at the butler's formality. She wasn't used to having someone serving her, ready to cater to her every need. "No thank you," she said with a polite smile. "And you can just call me Hilary. I think that sounds a lot better than miss. Don't you?"  
  
The butler smiled and nodded back just as politely. "Just let me know if you need anything at all," he told her.  
  
Hilary bit her lip. "Actually I was wondering if you could tell me something," she said.  
  
"What would you like to know?" the butler asked.  
  
Hilary sighed. "How did Kai's grandfather die?" she asked hesitantly. "The others told me of how he was arrested for all of that Biovolt stuff, but no one even told me that he was dead."  
  
The butler looked at her sadly. "Master Voltaire got out of jail on bail after the Russian tournament," he said. "He was very angry with the young Master Kai for helping to turn him in, and he tried to kill him that night. He nearly succeeded in it, but fortunately Kai had been expecting his grandfather to be outraged. Master Kai was forced to shoot Master Voltaire and kill him to save his own life. "  
  
Hilary gasped. "No one ever told me about that," she said.  
  
"I wouldn't expect anyone to have done so," the butler told her. "I suspect that Kai never even told anyone about the incident. He has always been one to keep quiet about his private life."  
  
Hilary nodded her agreement. "Thank you for telling me," she said.  
  
"Just don't let the young master know that I have done so," the butler said. "He would not be very happy if he knew I had."  
  
Hilary shook her head. "Don't worry," she said with a soft smile. "Your secret's safe with me."  
  
The butler nodded to her before taking his leave from the room. Hilary sighed as she went back into the bathroom and turned on the water to fill the bath for her. She poured in some bubble bath that she found on the counter beside the sink.  
  
A half hour later Hilary came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel and looked through one of her bags for an outfit to wear for dinner. She pulled out a pair of jeans and a pink halter top. After changing into the outfit she used her towel to dry her hair a bit before pulling it back into a ponytail. She looked around the room and wondered what there was for her to do to keep her occupied while she waited to be called down. She noticed a large glass door that opened to a balcony outside of the room. She opened it up and was about to step outside when she suddenly realized how cold it was. "You are in Russia Hil," she told herself as she shut the door and kneeled in front of her bags to find a coat.  
  
When she opened the first bag, she found the picture of her and Tyson sitting on top of everything. She picked it up as if it were extremely fragile and stared at it sadly for a moment before glaring at it. She looked away from the picture as she tossed it underneath the bed.  
  
"What did you do that for?" Tyson asked her. He was sitting on the dresser watching her.  
  
She stood and turned to face him. "I don't want to look at it anymore," she said simply.  
  
"Then why did you bring it?" Tyson asked her. "You brought Dragoon too."  
  
Hilary frowned. "I don't know," she said. "I just thought I wanted them, but I don't. I don't want to look at you anymore Tyson. It hurts too much. I thought you said you couldn't come anywhere with me. What are you doing here then?"  
  
"Ask yourself that," Tyson said. "You brought me here. You keep bringing me here. It's not like I come by choice just to hurt you." Hilary glared at him and he jumped down from the dresser and walked up to her. "Why won't you let go of me Hilary?"  
  
Hilary looked at her feet. "You know I need you here Tyson," she said. "That's why you keep coming back to me. You know it."  
  
"Stop doing this to yourself Hilary," Tyson pleaded. "You're only going to keep getting hurt if you do this. You need to let me go."  
  
"Why do you keep telling me that?!" Hilary asked him. "I can't let go! I just can't!"  
  
"But it's the only way for you to move on," Tyson reasoned with her.  
  
"You want me to let go so bad!" Hilary exclaimed. "Then I will! Just leave! I can't stand to see you! It hurts too much!"  
  
"Don't hate me Hilary," Tyson said. "I'm not telling you to act like I never existed. Just move on and don't spend your entire life thinking about how things once were."  
  
"But how can I move on knowing that you used to be here?" Hilary said. "That you used to be mine…"  
  
Tyson shook his head. "I don't know how Hil," he said. "But somehow you have to. Just please… I'm begging you Hilary… Let me go for your own sake."  
  
"Go," Hilary ordered as she stormed to her bag and pulled out his beyblade, holding it up for him to see. "Just go away. I don't want to think about you at all. I don't ever want to think about or see your stupid little beyblade!" She threw it at the ground with all her might. "The stupid thing that got you killed!" She turned her back on him as tears ran down her cheeks. "Just go away and don't let me think about you again. Let me forget you… for good…" Hilary shut her eyes and took in a deep breath.  
  
Tyson looked down sadly as he faded away from sight. "I never wanted to be completely forgotten…"  
  
Hilary heard his whisper trail off and let go of her breath. She opened her eyes and turned to the spot where he'd stood. A knock on her door brought her back to her senses and she wiped away the tears from her face. "Y-yes?" she asked nervously, hoping no one had heard her 'talking to Tyson.' "Come in."  
  
"Dinner is ready," Kai's butler said as he opened the door and stepped in. "I can show you to the dining hall if you would like."  
  
Hilary nodded. "Yes, thank you very much," she said gratefully as she followed him to a very large dining room. The dining table was the largest Hilary had ever seen in her entire lifetime. A long, beautiful burgundy tablecloth covered it. Kai was already sitting at one of the ends of the table and a place setting was set in front of the seat closest to him. The butler pulled out the chair for Hilary to sit in, just as a maid came from the kitchen with two plates of food for the teenagers at the table.  
  
Hilary marveled at how delicious the food looked. After eating it and seeing that it was as good as it looked, she leaned back in her seat. A look of strong contemplation came over her face as she thought about how great Kai's home was. Kai raised an eyebrow at her. "Would you rather have had something else?" he asked her.  
  
Hilary shook her head. "No," she said. "This is wonderful. I wish my mom could cook like this."  
  
Kai smirked and let out a small chuckle, causing Hilary to look up at him. She blushed with embarrassment as she realized how stupid her amazement with Kai's lifestyle must seem to him. "Sorry," she said. "I just don't know how you get used living like this. It's amazing."  
  
"Yea," Kai said gruffly, though his smirk didn't fade. "So I guess that means you're already enjoying your stay here?"  
  
"You bet I am," Hilary said enthusiastically.  
  
Kai's smile widened and he set down his eating utensils. "I'm glad," he said. "You know what?" he asked unsurely. "Since it's your first night here in Russia I think I should show you the best view in the entire city." He stood up and pulled out Hilary's chair for her like a gentleman. After she stood he led her to the hall where all of the bedrooms were.  
  
"Why are we up here?" Hilary asked. "I've already seen most of your house."  
  
"Not my room," Kai said. He was a bit hesitant about taking her there, because he didn't know if it seemed a bit too corny and sentimental to show her his favorite place in all of Russia. He led her into the room, which was across the hall from Hilary's, and picked a blanket up from his bed as they passed by. He put it over Hilary's shoulders before opening the door to the balcony.  
  
As they stepped outside Hilary suddenly realized it was already dark out, and the sky was perfectly clear. "Wow," she said as she looked at the sky. "The stars seem so… perfect… from here."  
  
"Yea," Kai said as he followed her gaze to the sky.  
  
Hilary took in a deep breath. "Kai there's something I've been wondering," she asked. "Why wouldn't you go to China?"  
  
Kai looked at her. "Why did you come here?"  
  
Hilary looked at her feet. Why had she come? She'd been escaping the pity that had consumed her entire life. When people ran they always needed someone to run to. But why to Kai?  
  
"I don't know," she replied. "I don't know why I came to you, but I do know why I left. I was sick of people feeling sorry for me. My whole life is a pity party."  
  
"Maybe they only feel sorry," Kai said, "because you give them all an easy target. You've been dwelling on what happened, so they dwell on pitying you for it."  
  
Hilary was annoyed by his response. "Then what, may I ask, are you doing avoiding the rest if the world?" she asked heatedly.  
  
Kai looked out of the balcony and smirked at the irony of his coming response. "Dwelling on it," he told her.  
  
Hilary stared at him with shock for a moment before smiling. She walked to the railing of the balcony beside Kai and leaned on it, staring at the stars once again. "At least we're partners in crime."  
  
"Yea," Kai replied. "I actually miss him you know?"  
  
"All too well," Hilary said sadly. "He was the most amazing thing in my life. And now he's gone. But it doesn't feel like it. I always see him and I can't get him out of my head. Memories of him are constantly playing in my mind like a movie, only I can't press some button to make them stop." She let out a small, nervous laugh. "Sometimes it's so bad I think it's real, and I'm afraid that I may never be able to tell the difference." Hilary felt Kai's worried eyes on her and she looked at him. Her own eyes glistened with tears. "Losing him is driving me crazy, Kai, and I just need something normal in my life to hold onto. I feel like I'm falling deeper and deeper into this big hole and eventually there's going to be nowhere left to fall and I'll hit rock bottom."  
  
Kai put his arms around Hilary as she began to cry. "It's ok," he whispered. "This will get better. I promise."  
  
"Promises mean nothing," Hilary muttered. "Tyson promised not to leave me, but he's gone now. He broke his promise to me."  
  
"Well I won't," Kai said. "I keep my promises. I'll help you get better if you let me."  
  
Hilary took in a deep breath. "Thank you," she whispered. 


	6. Everybody Hurts

I know I keep taking insanely long to update all of my stories, but I've been so busy. Things with my boyfriend are getting serious, so I have to admit that my lack of writing is probably mostly because I have been spending so much time with him. I'm sorry!! So here's your new chapter… and another chapter of "More Damage Than You Know" is in the writing process….

This is to the song "Everybody Hurts" by the Corrs.  
--------------------------------------------  
  
_When your day is long_

_And the night _

_The night is yours alone _

_When you're sure you've had _

_enough of this life _

_Well hang on_  
  
That night Kai couldn't help but lie awake worrying. He was laying on his back with his hands behind his head, staring at his ceiling and wondering if he'd said the right thing to Hilary. It was obvious that she'd wanted, even needed, to hear him say it, but he wasn't sure that it was completely right. How could he have promised her something so big? There was no way that he could know whether things would get better or not, yet he'd told her they would. He hoped that they would get better. Hilary deserved so much more than what she'd gotten so far out of life. And if things didn't get better that would mean that Kai had broken his promise. What would the consequences for that be?

Kai kept thinking about what Hilary had told him. He knew that seeing someone who is dead would sound crazy to anyone. In fact, when Kenny had first told Kai about her hallucinations he had thought that maybe Hilary was losing it, but when Hilary had told him about it, it had made so much more sense to him. It didn't seem like she was going crazy at all. It was just her way of coping… Her strange way of coping.  
  
_Don't let yourself go _

_Cause everybody cries _

_And everybody hurts _

_Sometimes_  
  
Kai had to face it. Hilary did have a problem. He wanted so desperately to help her, but he wasn't sure if he could. He looked over at a huge picture that was framed up on his wall. It was one of the Bladebreakers, Hilary, and Kenny, all smiling and laughing happily, with the exception of Kai, who just had a small, almost unnoticeable smile on his face. Everyone had been happy then. Even Kai had been happy back when Tyson had still been alive.

Kai realized that he had to make it his duty to set things back to normal, maybe not completely, but it would do if he could get it as close as possible. He could see that Hilary was slowly dying bit by bit each day. She needed things to be how they once were before every part of her was gone. Maybe that was why she had come to Russia. Maybe she had felt that Kai might be her only hope at a life without Tyson. Why Kai specifically was the one who needed to do it, he did not know, but he knew he would do it willingly.  
  
_Sometimes everything is wrong _

_Now it's time to sing along _

_(When your day is night alone) _

_Hold on, hold on _

_(If you feel like letting go) _

_Hold on _

_If you think you've had _

_too much of this life _

_Well hang on_  
  
Kai sighed and rolled over onto his side. He had to admit that it was kind of nice having some company for a change. His mansion was too big for one person to keep to himself, and it often became quite lonely. Sure, it had become better since Voltaire's death. No company was better than Voltaire's company. In fact, Kai had always been quite a loner. He enjoyed his solitude, but it was getting to be tough on him. None of his friends had ever really noticed this about Kai, except maybe Tyson. Now that he was gone though, maybe having Hilary around was just what Kai needed.  
---------------------------------------------  
_Cause everybody hurts _

_Take comfort in your friends _

_Everybody hurts_  
  
In the guest bedroom, Hilary was asleep and having a particularly bad dream. She was in a very familiar place, one where she'd constantly visited Tyson in her dreams after his death. Something was different about the place though. It was colder than she remembered, and the eerie feel sent a shiver up her spine. She didn't understand. Being around Tyson usually put so much warmth in her heart. This place was nothing like she knew. It was no longer as welcoming as it once had been to her. Then she realized why this place seemed so drastically changed. She was there alone, without Tyson, and she had a feeling that he wasn't going to show up at all.

She began to call out his name desperately in hopes that she might be wrong. She ran around frantically searching for him in the thick fog around her, but he was nowhere to be found. "Where are you?" she said softly as she finally tired out and stopped. She took another look around as tears began to trail down her cheeks.  
  
_Don't throw your hand _

_Oh, no _

_Don't throw your hand _

_When you feel like you're alone _

_No, no, no, you're not alone_  
  
"Why aren't you here with me?" she whispered and fell to her knees.

"You told me to go away," Tyson's voice responded.

Hilary's eyes darted around in search of him. "Where are you?" she asked. "I can't see you."

"That's because you said it hurts to much to look at me," his voice answered. "I'm just following your wishes."

"Tyson I was angry," she explained. "I was just saying those thi-"

"No," Tyson cut her off. "You were kind of right. You do need to stop thinking about me. You need to stop meeting me here."

"What are you talking about?" Hilary asked incredulously.

"You told me to let you forget me for good," Tyson said. "Don't you remember? I'm going to try to let you do that. I don't want you to forget that I existed or that you loved me, but Hilary you do need to let go of all of this. You're clinging to a memory that ended a long time ago."

"But I need that," Hilary told him. "You don't understand Tyson. I may have said that I need you to go away, but the truth is that the thought of how much I love you is all that gets me through each day. I can't lose you."

"You aren't losing me," Tyson said, his voice sounding more distant than before. "You just need to understand that I am always here Hil, just not physically."

"Tyson," Hilary begged. "I need you!"  
  
_If you're on your own _

_In this life _

_The days and nights are long _

_When you think you've had too much _

_Of this life _

_To hang on_  
  
"Goodbye Hilary," Tyson's voice whispered just before it faded away with a huge gust of wind that blew Hilary's hair into her eyes.

"No!" she cried out as she pounded her fist on the ground. He tears fell from her eyes quickly as she jammed them shut. "Tyson… no…"

After a bit she calmed down and stood up, wiping tears from her eyes. She was shocked at what she saw before her. In the middle of the immense fog was what looked like a huge screen, and on it she watched as all of her memories of Tyson played like a movie. They all started to play faster and faster up until the memory of her telling him to leave earlier in the day. The movie suddenly came to a new scene with a new character in place of Tyson. She watched the memory of Kai's balcony play out in front of her, and a single tear slipped from her eye as she saw Kai hold her, helpless little Hilary who couldn't hold herself together.

"I'm pathetic," she told herself. "I can't even handle this on my own, and it's been months. Why did I even come here? I shouldn't dump my problems on Kai." Suddenly the movie paused and seemed to rewind to earlier that day, to when Kai had shown her to her room.  
  
_Well, everybody hurts _

_Sometimes, everybody cries _

_And everybody hurts _

_Sometimes_  
  
**_"If this is just the guest bedroom, I'm afraid to see the master bedroom," Hilary told Kai in the movie, making him frown._**

**_"You won't have to worry about that," Kai responded gloomily. "That was my grandfather's room. No one stays in it. In fact I have forbidden anyone, even myself, from entering that entire corridor. Not a soul has stepped foot there since Voltaire died." _**

**_"Oh," Hilary said guiltily. "Sorry. I didn't mean to bring that up. I know you don't really like talking about your gran-" _**

**_"How about you unpack?" Kai cut her off._**  
  
_And everybody hurts _

_Sometimes_  
  
Watching the scene, Hilary remember how uncomfortable Kai had felt. She felt so guilty having ever brought it up to him. "Great," she said sarcastically. "Not only am I bringing him my problems but I'm reminding him of his own."

The movie skipped back to the balcony scene.

_**"Then what, may I ask, are you doing avoiding the rest if the world?" Hilary asked heatedly.**_

_**Kai looked out of the balcony and smirked at the irony of his coming response.**_

_**"Dwelling on it," he told her.  
**_

_**Hilary stared at him with shock for a moment before smiling. She walked to the railing of the balcony beside Kai and leaned on it, staring at the stars once again. "At least we're partners in crime." **_

_**"Yea," Kai replied. "I actually miss him you know?"**_

Hilary's eyes widened with realization. "Kai needs me too," she said. "He needs a friend here, even though he won't admit it. That's why I came. I'm supposed to be here." She smiled slightly. "'Partners in crime.' At least I'm not the only person who's lost. Kai's got his own problems too, and now that Tyson's gone he needs another friend to help him out."

---------------------------------------------  
Hilary sighed gently as she woke from her dream and opened her eyes to a bright, sunny day. She felt a bit relieved to finally have realized why she'd wanted to come to Russia to be around Kai of all people. They both needed each other's friendship. Hilary wondered if maybe she could even help him sort out some of his problems concerning his grandfather. Her hopes diminished a bit as she thought that Kai wouldn't want her help. It seemed as if Kai had never spoken of those things with the others, especially since none of them had ever even mentioned his grandfather's death. Hilary wasn't even sure that any of them knew that Kai's grandfather was dead, or maybe none of them had dared ever to talk about it until Kai himself brought it up. Everyone knew how Kai was; he just couldn't be pushed into anything he didn't want.

Hilary brightened up a bit. If Kai never let himself be forced into anything, then that meant that he wanted Hilary to be there. "Maybe he really does want to open up to me," she told herself as she stood.

She felt her foot hit something hard as it touched the ground and she looked down to find the picture frame sticking out a bit from underneath the bed. She felt compelled to take it and set it up to look at, but she resisted the urge and kicked it further from her sight.

"Tyson, you're right," she whispered sadly. "I need to let you go, but forgetting you is the only way I can do that. I'm so sorry." With that said, she left her thoughts of him behind and went to get dressed. She was going to stop thinking about Tyson and start being a better friend.  
  
_**So, hold on, hold on **_

_**Hold on, hold on **_

_**Hold on, hold on **_

_**Hold on, hold on **_

_**(Everybody hurts **_

_**You are not alone)**_


	7. I Am Fine

Chapter 6- I Am Fine… The song is "Colorblind" by Counting Crows. Sorry it's the same chapter as before… something had been screwed up though when I posted it, so I decided to fix it.

**_I am colorblind_**

**_Coffee black and egg white_**

**_Pull me out from inside_**

**_I am ready_**

**_I am ready_**

**_I am ready_**

"Kai, this place is so beautiful!" Hilary gasped as she looked around the park at the snow-fallen ground. She and Kai both were bundled up appropriately for the cold weather, but she quickly removed the gloves from her hands so that she could feel the cold air on her fingertips.

Kai smiled as he watched Hilary lean down and let her fingers sift through the snow. "I used to come here a lot when I was young," he told her. "It's a nice place to clear your mind." A cleared mind seemed to be exactly what Hilary had at the moment. It seemed to be somewhere completely else as Kai spoke. She was thinking of something else, a memory from her past that was triggered by the beautiful white blanket covering the ground.

"Snow," Hilary whispered quietly to herself. "I missed this."

Hilary looked up briefly when Kai's cell phone began to ring. Kai looked at the caller ID and then back at his friend. "I have to take this call," he told her.

She just gave him a nod as she wiped the snow off of herself. When Kai walked away she wandered off to a small bridge nearby over a frozen lake. It reminded her of the bridge back at home, the same one that had once been Tyson's thinking spot. Staring at the frozen lake, she found herself thinking about the first time she'd ever met Tyson, right at that very bridge back home.

Flashback

Hilary was only 10 years old, and, since it was only her first winter spent in Japan, she was awfully lonely. Her mother had just died, leaving her and her father all alone. They had just moved to her new home not too long before to get away from the painful memories. Hilary wandered off to the bridge over the river that was near her house. The small river was frozen over, and Hilary loved staring at the glassy ice that took the place of the rushing water. She thought it was beautiful, and it reminded her so much of her mother. Winter had always been her mother's favorite time of year. Hilary remembered that her mother had once told her that winter was so beautiful because the snow was perfect. She'd said that the white snow was the only pure and perfect thing left for people to enjoy, because they'd found ways to ruin everything else, but winter was to great and beautiful to ruin.

A tear fell from the young girls eye as she remembered her mother. Now that she was gone, winter seemed to be all she had left of her. Hilary suddenly felt guilty for being upset. Her mother would have never wanted her to cry over her passing. When she was sick, she'd told Hilary that every part of life, including death, was just another new adventure. "The day you die is just as beautiful as the day you're born," she'd said. "Everyone has to go sometime, Hilary. You know, one day the snow has to melt too." That had been the way her mother had lived life, like every moment of it was amazing and every chance she took was important. Hilary hoped that she could live like that, but she didn't think she could ever be as strong and light-hearted as her mother.

As she stared at the shining ice, she started to sing her mother's favorite song softly. Singing that song always made her feel stronger, and it helped her appreciate things.

"**_I am _**

Taffy stuck, tongue tied

Stuttered shook and uptight

Pull me out from inside

I am ready

I am ready

I am ready

I am...fine…"

"What are you singing?" The voice startled Hilary and she stopped singing and looked up from the frozen water to see a young boy standing beside her. He looked to be about her age. He had tanned skin and long navy blue hair and wore a baseball cap backwards on his head.

"Who are you?" Hilary asked him curiously.

"I'm Tyson," the young boy said with a friendly smile as he offered her his hand. "What's your name?"

Hilary shook his hand cautiously as she replied. "Hilary," she told him.

"Well Hilary," Tyson said cheerfully, "it's nice to meet you. What was that song you were singing?" Hilary blushed and bit her lip. "Oh," she said. "That was just a song my mom taught me before she died. It was her favorite."

"My parents died a long time ago," Tyson told her a bit sadly. "I don't think I even remember their favorite songs."

"I'm sorry," Hilary apologized guiltily.

Tyson smiled. "Don't be," he told her. "Can you keep singing? I liked it. It sounds pretty."

End Flashback

Hilary smiled at the memory as she stared back into the frozen lake and kept singing the song she hadn't even thought of in so long.

**_"I am covered in skin_**

**_No one gets to come in_**

**_Pull me out from inside_**

**_I am folded, and unfolded, and unfolding…"_**

Kai walked over when he spotted Hilary at the bridge. He was about to call her name, but when he heard her singing he quieted down to listen.

"**_I am colorblind _**

Coffee black and egg white

Pull me out from inside

I am ready

I am ready

I am ready

I am...fine

I am.... Fine…"

Kai cleared his throat to catch Hilary's attention. Her head snapped up in his direction and she stopped singing. "Your voice is nice," Kai told her, making her blush and look away. "That was Kenny calling. Your father said that you ran away." Hilary forgot her embarrassment and looked at Kai seriously.

"You didn't tell him where I was did you?" she asked.

"No," Kai said. "I'm not so sure that it's my place to tell them. I do think that you need to at least call you father though. He's worried about you. You should at least let him know that you're ok."

"I know," Hilary said guiltily. "I just don't want to be found yet. I like the peace of being here alone with you."

"They'll figure it out eventually," Kai told her.

"I know that," Hilary replied. "I just want to enjoy having no one to worry about my sanity. They all think I'm crazy Kai. I get sick of it."

Kai sighed. "Alright," he said. He understood how she felt, even though he too was a bit worried about her. "Come on. It's getting dark. Let's get going back to the mansion for some hot chocolate before we both get sick."

Hilary smiled gratefully. She looked back at the lake and sighed peacefully. "This place is breath-taking," she said softly to him.

Kai couldn't help but smile as he watched her. His view wasn't too bad either. "Yes it is," he agreed.

Hilary looked back at him. "Thank you for bringing me here," she told him as they started to walk back to the limousine. "It means a lot that you would take me somewhere so important to you." Though she didn't say it directly, it made her feel like Kai was opening up to her finally.

"Apparently it has some importance to you as well," Kai said as they stepped into the limo.

"A lot of Russia brings back many memories for me," Hilary told him.

"I thought you'd never been here before," Kai said.

"I haven't," Hilary replied. "It's just that Russia is like winter all year around. My mother used to love winter, and I think she would have loved to visit Russia if she were still here."

"What happened to her?" Kai asked curiously.

"She died when I was about 10," Hilary explained. "She'd been fighting cancer for a few months, and unfortunately it was a fight she lost."

"I'm sorry," Kai said. "If it's any consolation, I understand how you feel."

"Whatever did happen to your parents Kai?" Hilary inquired.

"I'd rather not talk about it," he replied. "Why don't you tell me what your mother was like?"

Hilary sighed as she leaned back in her seat. "She was the smartest person I've ever known. She really appreciated life for what it was, more than any other people. She saw just how beautiful all of it was." Hilary closed her eyes and smiled. "I remember she used to play with me in the snow all of the time. She really loved the snow so much. She said it was perfect."

Kai smiled as he relished in her childhood memories. "Smart lady," he said.

The limo came to a stop as they arrived at the mansion. Kai escorted Hilary back up to her bedroom. They both lingered in the door way, and Hilary hesitated to shut him out for the night, hoping that maybe if she didn't he might finally open up. "I had fun today," Kai told her. "It's nice having you here. Good night."

"What about the hot chocolate?" Hilary asked hopefully.

"Maybe tomorrow night," Kai replied regretfully. "I'm really tired."

"Ok," Hilary said with disappointment. "Sleep well." With that she shut the door and prepared for bed.

As she changed into her pajamas she realized that for the first time, she'd thought about Tyson without being sad. "Maybe I can move on," she said to herself. "No. I know I can. I am moving on." She climbed into her bed and turned off the bedside lamp. "Goodnight Tyson. Good-bye." She went to sleep and dreamed for the first time only Tyson-free dreams. Meanwhile, a sharp white blade and a picture of 2 past lovers sat helplessly beneath the bed as they slowly became empty memories from a broken girls past.

Hilary was slowly moving on. She was going to be fine, wasn't she?

****

I am fine


	8. A Big Surprise

Ok… so I haven't really updated anything in a really long time… I'm sorry! Forgive me please! So here's the next chapter! It's starting to get sappier! I apologize, but I had to make it happen sometime! Haha… Actually, I like how this chapter came out. I tried to add some cute scenes. Enjoy and review!

* * *

Kai was sitting in his library drinking his morning cup of coffee with a book in front of him, enjoying the quiet of the room. As was usual in the mornings, Hilary came in and sat on the seat beside him, picking up a book as well. It was basically their routine to start off each day. They both seemed to find it to be relaxing, something Hilary was just discovering. With Tyson she never would have had any relaxation time; he never would have sat down beside her to read a book. Things like that seemed to flow much more easily with Kai.

The past two weeks had passed by rather quickly for the two teenagers in Russia. Hilary was actually having the time of her life, with Kai Hiwatari of all people. Who knew that that someone could have found Kai to be so much fun? He himself was having fun showing Hilary all there was to see in Russia.

Hilary hadn't once dreamed of Tyson in those two weeks, not since she'd decided that she was going to finally move on. She'd hardly even had a sad thought of her late boyfriend since, and Kai really enjoyed seeing the light in her eyes come back bit by bit as she started to improve.

The pair was now starting to live quite comfortably together, almost as if it were the most natural thing in the world for them. Hilary was possibly the only person that Kai didn't mind having around all of the time. He even smiled for her a lot, which was much more often than any other person ever got.

It had taken some convincing on Hilary's part to persuade her father to allow her to stay with Kai when she'd finally called back home. He didn't truly like the idea of his teenaged daughter running away to live alone with a boy, but Hilary explained that the butler Mikael was a responsible enough adult to keep an eye on the two.

And that Mikael did. It seemed that he walked in on so many of the most awkward-looking moments between the two teens that even he was a bit leery about the living situation after his amusement with it faded. Once he had even witnessed Hilary straddling Kai's waist on the floor. Of course, the incident did have a good, yet odd, explanation. Unfortunately it wasn't an explanation that either of the teens cared to divulge, so Mikael was left to his suspicions.

Kai took the last sip of his coffee and laid down his book, looking at Hilary. Feeling his eyes upon her, Hilary looked up from her own book curiously. "Is something wrong Kai?" she asked.

Kai smirked and shook his head. "No," he said. "I want to take you somewhere tonight."

Hilary laughed. "What!" she gasped playfully. "Have you not shown me all of Russia already? There's more to see!"

Kai smiled at her joke. "This has nothing to do with Russia," he replied mysteriously. "You'll like it though. But first we have to find you something to wear. I don't suppose you packed anything too formal when you ran away, did you?"

Hilary tilted her head in confusion. "No. I didn't really see a need for it. How formal do you mean?"

"Hm." Kai stood up. "Come on. We have to go out."

"Go out where?" Hilary asked as she stood and followed him out of the library.  
"You need a dress," Kai said. "So we're going to get you one."

Hilary stopped in her tracks and stared at Kai's back for a minute as he walked away. Then a huge smile crossed her face and she cried out in delight. "Shopping!"

* * *

Mikael dropped Kai and Hilary off at the park near the stores, because they'd decided to take a walk first. Hilary smiled at Kai mischievously as they walked along the road. Out of the corner of his eye, Kai looked at her seriously. "What?" he asked.

Hilary's smile widened. "You don't really seem the type to enjoy shopping too much," she said, stating the obvious.

"Trust me on this one," Kai said. "I'm not." "Then why did you offer?" Hilary asked curiously.

"You need a dress," Kai told her simply, still looking straight ahead. "Besides, it makes you happy."

"You don't have to make me happy all of the time, Kai," Hilary told him guiltily. "I'm the one imposing on you, remember?"

"I know I don't have to make you have," Kai replied. "I just want to. It's nice to see you smile again. And you aren't imposing on anyone. Haven't we both been enjoying ourselves?"

Hilary grinned at him again. "You know, I always pegged you for the strong silent type, Kai."

"I am," Kai told her.

"Yea," Hilary agreed as she looked ahead. "I guess you still are. I'm just glad that you say just enough of the right things to me."

Kai turned his head and looked directly at Hilary with a small smile. If she'd looked she might have seen some hidden emotion in his face, as unusual as it was for Kai. Hilary's eyes lit up as she instantly fell in love with a crimson red dress in the window of the store they were approaching. She stared at it almost breathlessly for a moment; that was definitely the dress she wanted.

"Go on," Kai said. "Try the dress on." Hilary beamed as she ran into the store to find it in her size. Kai sighed as he followed her into the store slowly, almost reluctantly. He was really doing her a favor. Shopping just was not Kai's thing.

Hilary came out of the dressing room a few minutes later, looking absolutely stunning. The dress wasn't too fancy, but it was perfect for her. It fit her slender frame beautifully, draping down in the front in a cowl neck from thin spaghetti straps. It reached her feet, trailing off a bit in the back. A slight iridescence made the dress almost shimmer and glow. The rich red color of the dress made Hilary's large, attractive amber eyes stand out.

"How does it look?" Hilary asked, giggling when she looked at Kai.

Kai was just gaping at her as she stood before him, until her laughter brought him out of the daze. He looked at her seriously, acting as if he hadn't been astonished just a moment before. "What?" he asked.

"I asked you how I look," Hilary told him with a soft smile.

"You look alright," Kai said shortly.

Hi lary pretended to frown. "Just alright?" she asked. "It didn't seem that way a minute ago."

Kai rolled his eyes playfully. "Just get changed so I can buy you the dress."

"I knew you liked it!" Hilary laughed as she went back into the fitting room.

"Whatever you say." Kai smirked and shook his head at her as she disappeared behind the door.

"So what exactly is it that you have planned for tonight?" Hilary asked as Kai saw her hang the dress over top of the door.

"A surprise," Kai said.

"Yes, I know that," Hilary said. "But why can't you tell me?"

"You do know what a surprise is, don't you?" Kai asked.

"Fine," Hilary pouted as she came back out. "I guess I'll just have to wait."

* * *

Hilary heard a knock on her door as she put finished putting her jewelry on. "You can come in," she said as she sat on the bed to put on the shoes she'd just gotten to match her new dress.

Mikael opened the door and popped his head in. "Master Kai asked me to come see if you were ready yet."

"Oh just a minute," Hilary told him. "Just let me finish putting on my shoes and I'll be right down. Mikael, do you know where we're going?"

"Out to dinner," the butler replied.

"Then why is it a surprise?"

"You will see Miss Hilary," Mikael said with amusement. "Just be patient."

Hilary sighed and finished strapping on her shoes. "Ok, I'm ready." She followed Mikael down to the entrance hall where Kai was waiting for her.

Kai smiled at her and escorted her to the limo. "You look amazing," he complimented her.

Hilary laughed as she sat down inside the limo with Kai beside her. "I told you that you liked it."

They were silent for most of the ride, Hilary anxiously looking at the sides of the street, hoping on some hint as to where they were going. She was confused when they pulled up to an ordinary-looking restaurant. Yes, it was a fancy restaurant, but she'd kind of been expecting more too it.

Kai caught the look on her face and smirked. "Come on," he said. "I made reservations." When they got inside, Hilary saw that the place was almost like a very sophisticated nightclub. It was dimly lit, and everyone was seated at small, round tables with candles lit in the centers. A stage in front of the room was set up with a live pianist playing.

Kai and Hilary took their seats across from each other and were handed menus. "This place is great Kai," Hilary said. "But I know you, and this isn't the surprise."

"You're right," Kai replied. "But you'll still have to wait to find out what that is. For now just enjoy the music."

Hilary tilted her head to the side and sighed as she stared at Kai inquisitively. When she realized that was getting her no answers she turned and looked at the pianist. When the man on stage finished a couple of songs, the manager of the restaurant stood and approached a microphone that was set up in the center of the stage. "I'd like to thank you all for coming to enjoy the show," he said, "especially since tonight we have a special treat. A very beautiful and talented young lady is going to sing for us tonight." Everyone in the audience clapped accordingly, including Kai and Hilary, who were both smiling.

The manager looked around the room. "Could we get a spotlight on the star of tonight's show?" he asked. On his command a light searched the room until it stopped on the table of the two teenagers. "Hilary, why don't you come step onstage?"

Hilary's eyes widened and her jaw dropped as she stared at Kai in shock. Kai just continued to smirk at her. "Go on," he urged her. "You'll sound great."


	9. I Don't Belong Here In Heaven

Sorry it's been so long! I'm just a busy busy girl!

* * *

"So would the lovely lady please take the stage?" the club manager asked again.

Kai grinned from ear to ear when Hilary looked at him, obviously scared. "Kai... I..."

"Just get up there Hil," Kai told her. "I want to hear you sing."

"Kai I can't do that," Hilary argued.

"You can. You have a beautiful voice. Please just do it for me?"

Hilary looked at him pleadingly, but he seemed to really want her to do it for him. "Al-alright..." She stood and slowly walked onto the stage, where the manager bowed to her and handed off the microphone. Hilary stared at the crowd nervously; the spotlight on her was so bright that it just made her nervousness worse.

She closed her eyes and tookdeep breath before looking back at the crowd. "Uh... Hi..." she said unsurely. "I... uh... I suppose I've got to... um... choose a song to sing for all of you..." She bit er lip and thought for a moment, then her eyes lit up. "Oh I know!" She turned around and whispered something to the pianist.

The pianist nodded to her and she put the mirophone in its stand as the piano began to play. Hilary looked at Kai just as she started to sing the song.

_"Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven?  
Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven?"_

Kai stared at Hilary, a smile still on his face. Something about her being up on the stage, singing for him, gave him a strange feeling that he couldn't identify. All he knew was that he felt extremely happy.

_"I must be strong and carry on,  
'Cause I know I don't belong  
here in heaven._

'She's so... beautiful,' he thought as he watched her, but he immediately felt guilty for thinking it. He listened to the song she was singing and realized that she wasn't singing for him; she was singing for Tyson. Even though she'd been better the past two weeks she still missed him and thought about him.

_"Would you hold my hand if I saw you in heaven?  
Would you help me stand if I saw you in heaven?  
I'll find my way through night and day,  
'Cause I know I just can't stay  
here in heaven._

She was Tyson's love, and he was hers. It would always be that way, no matter how much time separated their next meeting. Her love for Tyson had been the thing attaching her to the Bladebreakers for the past couple of years; it had made her stronger for him. But now that Tyson was gone, her love was making her weaker.

Kai suddenly realized that the girl standing on the stage was still so fragile, still healing from her shattered heart. She was still finding her way without Tyson's guidance. She was finding a new path in her life, one that couldn't include Tyson, though it seemed thoughts of him always crowded her mind.

_"Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees.  
Time can break your heart, have you begging please,  
begging please._

Kai wondered if maybe that new path could possibly join his, and he knew he desperately wanted it to. Helping Hilary for the past weeks had stirred up something inside of him that he'd been lacking, something that he wanted to stay there. He thought that maybe he could heal her heart. He didn't know if it was right to think that way. All he knew was that the most beautiful person in the world was standing on that stage with tears running down her cheeks, making his heart race like it never had before.

_"Beyond the door there's peace I'm sure,  
And I know there'll be no more  
tears in heaven._

Hilary looked back at her own table, at Kai, seeing the serene and thoughtful look on his face, and she smiled at him, earning a smile in return that made her blush lightly.

_"Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven?  
Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven?  
I must be strong and carry on,  
'Cause I know I don't belong  
here in heaven."_

As she finished the final lines of the songshe stared deeply into Kai's eyes and swore that she saw something familiar there. She saw a look that only Tyson had been capable of giving anyone.


	10. Move Along Just to Make it Through

See... I love you all so much that I updated again! I just had a burst of inspiration! It's a Kai-tells-all chapter!

This is a song called "Move Along" by theAll-American Rejects. The lyrics seemed very appropriate for the events of this chapter. By the Way, the last chapter's lyrics were to "Tears in Heaven" by Eric Clapton. It's a song he wrote about his 2-year-old son after he died by falling out of a window.

* * *

_Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking  
When you fall everyone sins  
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking  
With the life held in your  
Hands are shaking cold  
These hands are meant to hold_

"I had a great time Kai," Hilary said as they stood at the doorway of her room. "Thank you."

"Thank you for singing for me," Kai joked. "I know you were afraid to go up there on that stage. You looked amazing up there though."

Hilary beamed. Kai felt the urge to make some indication of his feelings for her, but it just didn't seem right. "Good night."

_Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong  
Move along, move along like I know you do  
And even when your hope is gone  
Move along, move along just to make it through  
Move along  
Move along _

"Good night Kai," Hilary said as she went into her room and closed the door.

She looked at herself in the mirror and sighed happily. Singing in front of all those people had really been exciting. It was just one more thing on the long list of what Kai did to help her out.

As she changed into her pajamas she thought of how close she'd become with Kai. He was probably the best friend she'd ever had, keeping her sane when the rest of the world was driving her mad. Only one thing bothered her about their friendship, the fact that Kai never once shared even the smallest bit of information about his own life. "Maybe he doesn't trust me that much," she said as she layed down on her bed. "It's not fair though. He has so much to do with my life, but I know nothing about him. I want to be able to help him too." She wondered about Kai's parents quite often, about how they'd died. Were they nice to him? Did they love him? Did something awful happen to them?

A thought suddenly occured to Hilary. There was one secret she could discover without Kai telling her. She stood from her bed and headed off towards the forbidden corridor of the master bedroom. Peaking around corners to make sure no one was around, she slowly made her way to the large oak door fit for a ballroom. She took a deep breath guiltily before grabbing the gold handle of one door and pushing it open.

_So a day when you've lost yourself completely  
Could be a night when your life ends  
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving  
All the pain held in your  
Hands are shaking cold  
Your hands are mine to hold _

Leaving the door slightly ajar for some light, she searched the nearest walls for a switch to turn on the lights of the long corridor. When it was finally lit up she looked around. The hall was more extravagant than anything else in the mansion, but it was also much dustier. Hilary reminded herself that Voltaire's death had occured the previous summer, so no one must have entered the hall in about a year.

Up ahead of her, Hilary saw paintingslined up against the walls. Upon coming closer to them she realized that she was face to face with the entire bloodline of the wealthy Hiwatari family. The first painting looked quite old, ancient by her standards, so she assumed that the pictures of the youngest generations were toward the end of the hall. Sure enough, she recognized the face of Votaire Hiwatari from a picture Kenny and Tyson had shown her. Beside his portrait was one of a dark-haired man, who looked a bit familiar. Piercing crimson eyes caught her attention and she reached up to brush her fingers over them. "Who are you?"

_Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong  
Move along, move along like I know you do  
And even when your hope is gone  
Move along, move along just to make it through  
Move along  
(Go on, go on, go on, go on) _

"My father," said someone in a raspy whisper behind her.

Hilary quickly turned around to see Kai standing there looking quite perturbed. "I thought you'd understood that this hallway was forbidden?" he said rather accusingly.

"I did," Hilary said, crossing her arms stubbornly. "I just didn't understand why because you never tell me anything about your life. I had to come here to find out for myself what was such a big secret about this place, though it didn't clear much up for me."

Kai looked down with a sad look on his face, and Hilary instantly felt guilty, realizing something was bringing up bad memories for him. She followed his fearful eyes to the painting of Voltaire. "I just..." he whispered. "I just never wanted to look at him or ever speak of him again... I just couldn't..."

_When everything is wrong we move along  
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)  
When everything is wrong, we move along  
Along, along, along_

"I'm sorry Kai," Hilary said guiltily. "I just need to know more about you. I can't help it. I share so much with you but I barely know anything about you."

"It's hard to talk about that stuff..."

"Once you tell me it might end up being a lot easier than you think," Hilary said.

Kai looked at her nervously. "I don't know if I can Hilary. My family... it's all just so screwed up... everything..."

Hilary sighed. "Kai, what happened to your parents?" she asked. "Were they screwed up like the rest of your family?"

Kai gulped and looked away again. "My parents were good people," he said almost defensively.

"Then what happened to them?" Hilary pressed on as she walked over to him. She hugged him lightly, though his arms didn't encircle her in response. "It's okay. You can trust me Kai. You can tell me things that hurt you."

_When all you got to keep is strong  
Move along, move along like I know you do  
And even when your hope is gone  
Move along, move along just to make it through  
x3 _

"Voltaire..." he whispered as though the painting might hear him and punish him. "He killed them..."

Hilary looked at him, horrified. "What?" she gasped. "How could he? Why?"

Kai leaned against the wall behind him, his eyes never leaving Voltaire's portrait. "I was six... My dad was in his office working; he had some sort of job in advertising. We just lived in a little rancher then. I... didn't even know who Voltaire was yet... My mom was in my bedroom with me, playing cops and robbers. I remember the door was open and she was standing in front of it, pretending to make an escape... I held up my fingers and said 'bang'... She fell over... I thought... she was pretending... but then I saw the blood... and the whole in the back of her head..." He took in a shaky breath and Hilary held him tightly. "There was... just... so much of it... and then I saw the man standing there... with a real gun... not and imaginary one like mine... I... yelled my dad's name... and ran past the man into the office... but my dad couldn't save me... he was dead on the floor..." He gulped nervously again. "Then... Voltaire came... and he took me away... from my home... He took away everything I ever loved..."

Hilary pulled away and looked into his tear-filled eyes. "Oh Kai..."

Kai shook his head. "I was happy when I killed him," Kai said through gritted teeth. "I didn't want to do it, but he attacked me. I could barely even breath with the damn ribs he'd broken with a couple of kicks... but I got the gun... I got the gun and I shot him... And nothing in the world ever felt so good as seeing him dead... after all the pain... all those years... He was finally gone..." He looked into Hilary's frightened eyes. "Does that make me a bad person? I mean, I was happy to see someone dead, and I was happy to know I'd killed him."

"No," Hilary whispered and she hugged him comfortinglyagain. "It just makes you a normal person. He got what he deserved."

Kai's arms finally found their way around her, and he held her. "Oh Kai I'm so sorry..." Hilary whispered. "I'm sorry to bring up those memories..."

"Can we... go to bed now?" Kai asked softly.

_Hilary nodded. "Yea... we can go to bed..."  
(Move along)  
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)  
Right back what is wrong  
We move along_

_

* * *

_

Hmm... it's kind of hard to imagine Kai at any age playing games like cops and robbers...


End file.
